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"Investing in origins of families for generations to come"
Covenant Relationship Principles
Our Commitment To Building Godly Relationships
Godly relationships are key to making any marriage or ministry successful. These are biblical principles that govern the way we relate to one another and grow together. Living by these principles, we are able to cultivate and\keep relationships healthy and strong.
We have discovered that friendships are not held together by sincerity and love alone, but by covenantal agreements.
God is a covenant God, and the Bible is a covenant book. God takes covenant very seriously. When we agree to walk together according to godly standards and ethics, we find God’s favour and blessing, truly proving that friends love at all times. (Proverbs 17:17)
Each of these principles, when built upon one another, provides terms and parameters for healthy relationships in any arena: marriage, ministry, business, etc. Covenant cannot exist in some nebulous form but must be based upon healthy terms of truth and agreed upon boundaries. Godly character and clear conscience protect all parties and ensure the health of relationships.
Jesus Himself has set the standard which we are to follow. The easiest way Satan attacks relationship is by assaulting areas of communication. Therefore, the principles of covenant relationship emphasise communication and the relational element between people based upon promise.
Covenant implies much more than a contract or simple agreement. A contract generally involves only one part of a person, such as a skill, while a covenant covers a person’s total being. Covenant is based on promise; contract is based on performance.
Thank God He has made covenant with us! And we, too, should relate with one another based upon promise and not performance.
Principle #1
The Faithfulness Principle
Definition: Faithfulness to a relationship is proven by our loyalty to a person. (i.e. marriage, family, friend) When we allow problems to become the primary focus of a relationship, biblical principles often get laid aside in order to air differences (dirty laundry).
The importance of sharing feelings should never take priority over character.
Scripture: Proverbs 14:8 & 17:18 – Psalm 133:1
Commitment: Faithfulness to our relationship outweighs the importance of any offense between us. I will not allow any problem to override the principles by which we live.
Question: Is this problem a threat to our relationship?
Principle #2
The First Word Principle
Definition: Jesus instructed us to go to an offending brother privately. When we obey the Word, we are able to reconcile with our brother much more easily than if we had revealed the problem to others before going directly to speak with him.
Malachi 3:16 – Matthew 18:15
Commitment: If a problem arises within our
relationship you will be the first person to hear about it.
Question: Have you spoken to anyone else about this offense?
Principle #3
The Final Word Principle
Definition: We believe God’s Word and we should also believe the words of our friends. If we respect the words we hear from each other, we do not need constant reassurances of the well-being of our relationship. We can be confident that all is well because we have not been told otherwise.
Proverbs 14:5, 25, 35 – I Corinthians 13:7 – Ephesians 4:15
Commitment: I will trust and act upon the last words we spoke concerning our relationship and live as if you will do the same. If anything changes on my part, I will be sure to inform you.
Question: Did you forget or disregard what we last spoke to one
another concerning our relationship?
Principle #4
The Four Day Principle
Definition: Resolving conflicts preserves friendships. Offenses between friends are spiritually, emotionally, and physically harmful. Bringing issues to closure within a reasonable amount of time maintains the health of a relationship. We could call this the Lazarus Principle: rotten flesh eventually starts stinking.
Proverbs 28:13 – John 11 – James 3:17-18
Commitment: I will not allow any problem I have with you to continue unresolved for more than four days. If, within that length of time, I have not come to peace about the issue, I will communicate with you.
Question: How long have you been troubled about this problem?
Principle #5
The Friendship Principle
Definition: God is the only one that can truly discern what is in a man’s heart. One should not expect that a friend should discern what is happening inside of him. Therefore, the need to be understood is met by friends communicating with one another and sharing their hearts in covenant relationship.
Proverbs 28:13 – John 11 – James 3:17-18
Commitment: I will not allow any problem I have with you to continue unresolved for more than four days. If, within that length of time, I have not come to peace about the issue, I will communicate with you.
Question: How long have you been troubled about this problem?